Current music:

WBAR

"In an age before Atlantis rose, an age rife with sorcery and violence…"

It's Friday afternoon,^[0] and my boss just left to go to church. The cynical part of me wonders when we atheists get to take off of work early, but I take significant recompense in all that time I get to spend being selfish instead of trying to please a higher power. In solidarity with my own cause, I've decided to slack off of opening submission envelopes for awhile and finish editing the LJ entry I started writing... oh, 2.5 weeks ago. I have no excuse, save that it's been really busy—I just spent the week shepherding my editors through one-on-ones^[1] and finally finished writing that MAF department report that I've been giving up a lot of sleep for (as goes the joke oft-repeated around the MoCCA gallery when we're giddy from prepping for a show until the wee hours of the morning: "300% raises for everyone!")—and I haven't been motivated enough to post to counteract that.

I also had to prep a presentation for the first(ish) book I'm serving as the editor on, an omnibus comprising the first two books of Frank Frazetta's Death Dealer series (based on the Frazetta painting, but actually written by some other guy). And by "prep", I mean, "read half of the reviews on amazon.com aloud to Pat". Don't get me wrong... the series has an impressive number of very favorable reviews, but I can't help but be amused by lines like:

This book is one of the great ones. Just like a Frazetta painting. Lusty, naked women that glisten beneath a primordial sun. Ravening, bloody battles. Demons. Barbaric sorcery. The Death Dealer books are cut from the cloth of Conan, and I'm talking about Robert E. Howard's Conan... As long as you appreciate naked girls, two-fisted honor and axe-heavy battles, you'll love the Prisoner of the Horned Helmet….

   or

Oh! By the way, these books are probably the MOST VIOLENT books you will ever read. for example: Gath, in one of the books, rips off someone's arm, and BEATS HIM TO DEATH WITH IT! then beats the assailants friends with it too. he carries around a huge axe, and the art on the covers is GREAT! this is the only book series I have ever read, that the cover was not only really cool, but the cover ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN THE BOOK!!! The second you see the art on the cover of "Prisoner of the Horned Helmet" you will want to read the book more that anything! trust me... order this book! it isn't expensive, and it is REALLY WORTH THE MONEY!

So, this will be an interesting experience. I should have some (proper) good news on the editorial front to report here very soon, but I can't say anything just yet, unless you bug me personally.

The big event of last month, the one that drove me to my keyboard in the first place, was that I was making pasta for dinner when I set my hair on fire. Only a little bit, in the front, but it was enough for me to resolve that I should never do that again. Who knew burnt human hair could smell that bad?

Then, after that, I put on a bikini, praised Cthulhu, and wrestled in fake blood on the steps of my alma mater.

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Heh. Okay... I'd love to be coy about that last bit, but my life is just not cool enough that I can brush something like that off. The story starts at a Cthulhu Week^[2] planning meeting my freshman year. In the sort of scenario only explicable when a group of geeks get together in a room, we were throwing out possible event ideas, with the intent of running a fake postering campaign for Cthulhoid events that weren't actually happening, when Eugene suggested "Coed Naked Blood Wrestling." We were stunned. It was a brilliant idea... and totally unfeasible for a group with ten members, most of them male.

Three years later, I'm in much the same position, except that now I'm about to graduate and I'm habitually getting reckless with CUSFS' reputation (witness: Stoner Night, Male Objectification Night). So when we started planning for Cthulhu Week, I was like, "Hey, guys, this is a terrible idea, but why don't we actually do Coed Naked Blood Wrestling this year?" And so we did. It was a logistical nightmare, but probably the only event I will ever run that inspires random strangers to rip their clothes off in front of a throng of people standing outside a campus administration building. In other words, so worth it.

Anyway, it was awesome enough that the non-graduating officers unanimously decided to make it a tradition. Furthermore, Julian kept insisting that she could beat me in a presidential deathmatch, to the extent that I had to wrestle her and show her how blatantly wrong she was. Despite my confidence that I could slaughter Julian, I was incredibly nervous once the event started, as people remembering how cool it was last year and bringing their friends, plus an influx of frat boys and passing perverts, meant that there were a hell of a lot of people there and a hell of a lot of cameras. If you look at one picture, it must be this one (there are full sets here and here, and there must be others out there... anyone have any links?). Personally, I'm notoriously unphotogenic, and being freakishly pale and singularly unimpressive in a bikini hardly helped things... but you can take a look if you promise not to hold that against me.^[3]

Man. Who knew it was so easy to get college students to take their clothes off? But, hey, kids: since I clearly can't go an entire post without considering the philosophical implications of something... although Blood Wrestling might have started out as an excuse for the public airing of nubile young flesh, it's taken on a purpose far more noble than that, which is that geeks—especially geeks at a city school with a stunted social scene—need to feel sexy too, and having a bunch of people cheer for you while you take your clothes off is certainly one way to go about it. Secondly, there are definitely not enough well-publicized pagan rituals taking place on college campuses these days. Not buying it? Whatever. Just check out how much fun everyone is having in the photographs, and tell me it doesn't look like we're doing the world some good.

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In completely unrelated news, after a brief stint where I could think about nothing but theatre, I've developed a sudden, dangerous habit for antifolk compilations (and shows: Kimya Loves Me!). As in, two weeks ago I caved and ordered the first issue of Anti-Up Magazine. I got it on Friday, and by Sunday I'd read the entire thing and listened to the CD about seven times. Of course, my only recourse was to get a subscription (#2 got here last week), and then Toby sent me the Unicornsounds and Luv-A-Lot compilations this past Monday. In case you need some reassurance that I haven't forgotten that there's a world out there beyond antifolk, I also recently saw Thea Gilmore, Libbie Schrader, and... Rock 'n' Rollerskating! (Beyond my wildest dreams, incidentally. So going back.)

Peace out, y'all... I have another band to see. :)

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[0] Or was, when I started revising this.

[1] Tor's name for the pre-launch meeting, wherein the editors first present their new season of books to the in-house sales/marketing/publicity/production staff. So called because this meeting used to pit a single editor against a single, all-powerful representative from the other departments.

[2] The quick and dirty explanation of Cthulhu Week, if you're too lazy to follow the link: years ago, a group of people at SUNY Binghamton formed a group called the Campus Crusade for Cthulhu, presumably out of annoyance with an existing prostelytization-bent organization with a similar moniker. Their aims: to serve Cthulhu—one of the Great Old Ones sleeping beneath the ocean—until such time that the Stars are Right and he (it?) and his brethren can awaken and resume their control over the earth (see the stories of H.P. Lovecraft for further proof-of-concept). Our aims: if we start appeasing Cthulhu now, perhaps when the end times come, he will eat us last. In the meantime, we tender him our freshest virgins and our finest displays of athleticism (the mock-blood serving as a visual precursor to the gory spectacle that will surely await once Cthulhu's time comes due).

[3] Speaking of photographs, I've thus far neglected to post links to pictures of the Pirate Parade. Initial research revealed these and these (though the first guy's head count is clearly way off).